


Sunday

by MessOfCurls



Series: Wax and Wane [8]
Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Blankets, Bromance to Romance, Climbing Class, College, Developing Relationship, Dorms, First Kiss, Hangover, M/M, Making Out, Pajamas & Sleepwear, Play Fighting, Roleplay Logs, Snacks & Snack Food, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 17:29:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6714187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MessOfCurls/pseuds/MessOfCurls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lazy Sunday afternoon in Chris and Josh's dorm room turns into something more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sunday

**Author's Note:**

> Originally called "The Boy Nest" - this is an old RP log written by me (Josh) and my shipmate (Chris).
> 
> Song rec:  
> Will Do - TV On The Radio

_Story is about originality, not duplication._

_A story is not only what you have to say, but how you say it. If the content is cliché, the telling will be cliché. But if your vision is deep and original, your story design will be unique. Conversely, if the telling is conventional and predictable, it will--_

Josh turned the page.

_demand stereotypical roles to act out well-worn behaviours. Never, however, mistake eccentricity for originality._

He pulled on the highlighter pen between his teeth, uncapping it in the process, and highlighted the last sentence.

An hour reading, that was what he’d promised himself. Just enough to make himself feel productive, and then he could zone out. It was Sunday, after all, and though his hangover had long-since passed, a lazy day was definitely on the cards. Hell, it was 2pm and he wasn’t even dressed yet. Showered, yes, but followed by a swift return to nightwear. Did that count?

Besides, without his roommate’s company, he didn’t really have any excuse not to get some course reading out of the way.

He leaned back in his chair and placed a bare foot on the edge of the small desk as his attention returned to the text, highlighter returning to his mouth as he scrutinised the pages thoughtfully.

The peace of solitude came abruptly clattering down all around itself when their perpetually unlocked (usually because _someone_ forgot their keys), room slammed back upon its worn hinges. In its wake stood the other occupant of this particular dorm room, holding aloft the spoils of a trip to the nearest convenience store. It might’ve been six below, at the height of a wonderfully crisp, and lecture cancelling Canadian Winter, but in his still tipsy fervour Chris had rolled out of bed around noon, and stumbled right out into it in search of breakfast. That had been approximately two hours ago, and he still looked a tad worse for wear in an old t-shirt, and the same baggy sweats he’d clambered into whilst giggling like a loon the night before. Glasses faintly askew, and cheeks bitten to a stark shade of pink he waggled the overstuffed plastic bag in Josh’s direction.

“Dude, I come bearing gifts.” The soles of his boots tracked faint impressions of melting snow across the carpet as he kicked them off only to dump the bag onto the notes and closed text books which littered Josh’s desk. His hands found their way to his roomie’s cheeks, bitterly cold against formerly warm skin. 

“Jesus!” The pen tumbled from Josh’s mouth onto the floor, but he made no effort to pick it up, too distracted by ice-cold hands invading his cocoon of warmth. He looked up at the blonde, the initial surprise quickly subsiding, and placed his hands over Chris’s own, a wry smile gracing his lips. “Where did you even go? The North Pole?”

With his cheeks quickly numbing, he took one of Chris’s hands in his own and absently rubbed it through the sleeves of his hoody in a vague attempt to warm it. He considered bookmarking the page he’d been reading, but dismissed the idea. Chris’s return had very much signalled the end of any more work for the day, and Josh wasn’t exactly disappointed about that.

“Two questions:” he began, getting to his feet and switching his attention to Chris’s other freezing cold hand, “First, how’re you feeling?”

When they’d woken that morning they’d both been a little worse for wear, but Chris was good at rallying, or at least powering through the worst of a hangover and still managing a smile.

“Second,” his gaze flickered to the bulging carrier, “and more importantly, what’s on the menu?”

In his roommate’s absence, Josh’s stomach had growled more than once, but the blonde had insisted that he wouldn’t be long. While that hadn’t been true, it looked like the haul was worth the wait.

“Like that guy who yolo’s out of the tent before he can get eaten by everyone else, or turn into a popsicle.” History had never exactly been Chris’ strong point, so that was about as accurate a reference as Josh was going to procure from him. Most of his knowledge came from some kind of app, or Wikipedia, and it was a miracle he wasn’t flunking some of the subjects he didn’t give a toss about. Besides, the gentle chaff of jersey and fleece, coupled with the warmth of the fingers curled lightly around his palm offered up a pleasant enough distraction. 

“Bed. Bed is on the menu, and I got you some of those weird ass chips you like because I am fucking amazing.” Although their room consisted of just enough space to house two (one more so than the other), moderately tidy young men, and mirrored itself in places - two desks, two wardrobes, two beds - the majority of Chris’ time was spent lounging over books, and his precious cell phone upon the thick covers of Josh’s side of the equation. 

It was where he headed now, after breaking away for long enough to gather up healthy armfuls of his own bedding. A plan was clearly in mind, and it required the combined might of their entire stash of pillows, duvets, and blankets. 

“Dude, bed sounds awesome right now.”

Josh watched Chris dump his bedding unceremoniously on top of his own, leaving the blonde’s bed bare save for the mattress. At its full height the stockpile was impressively tall. That was one of the perks of studying up north, Josh supposed. They might not get tans anytime soon, but the plump duvets - Josh’s own a ridiculous thickness at his mother’s insistence - more than made up for that.

He picked up the bag and padded over to where Chris was working to blueprints of his own devising on an exceptionally comfortable-looking construction. With the carrier hooked over his wrist, he opened up his laptop from its resting place on his nightstand and turned it to face the bed as it powered on.

He slipped his hand inside the bag and rifled through the contents. Yes. Bed, food and Chris. Sunday was shaping up nicely. Sidling up to Chris, he inspected his roommate’s work. “Need a hand?”

“The master is at work, don’t interrupt my flow.” Chris barely made it to the end of his ridiculous declaration without a snort of laughter escaping his lips. From the looks of things he was almost done anyway. His own comforter was rolled up at the head of the bed, and covered by a line of fat pillows. The old, but highly effective patchwork woollen blanket his nana had donated to his college room decor was spread out over the covers which had already smothered Josh’s bed. All in all he’d created a rather grand spot within which the two of them could gorge themselves on calories, and probably end up snoring all over each other after a few hours of YouTube videos, and vintage horror flicks. 

Without hesitation his arms snaked around Josh’s slender waist, hefting him just off of his feet for a split second before he was deposited with surprising accuracy into the midst of the bedding. Chris then proceeded to strut like a wrestler in the middle of some form of crowd-pleasing fanservice, before snagging the carrier of snacks on his way down to flop beside him. 

Its contents ranged from the usual (those weird ass chips, several coffee crisps, a handful of peps, and a Mr. Big which they’d invariably end up squabbling over before sharing the whole thing a bite at a time). That and a few more substantial breakfast items, which made some kind of sense. It was all topped off with a tub of ice cream that currently resided in a state of hardness formerly only reserved for hockey pucks, a sprinkling of napkins, and plastic cutlery, and a two litre of fluorescent soda. He was no chef, but Chris could put together junk food like no other. 

Already recovered from the rather undignified way he'd been deposited onto the bed, Josh was quick to shuffle the woollen blanket down enough to slip his legs under it and pull it back over himself and his bed mate up to their waists, foregoing the thick duvet beneath them for now. There was very little spare room on the standard issue single bed, especially kitted out as it was now, but it only accentuated the softness of it. He scootched up slightly towards the wall to give Chris just a little more room, though from experience he knew that they'd inevitably find some way to make it work, wrapped up in a comfortable tangle of limbs.

Sinking back against the wall of pillows, he grinned, stretching out his arm behind Chris invitingly.

"Chip me, bro."

“Thought you’d never ask.” Chris’ still somewhat chilly elbow digs into his roomie’s side despite the layer of jersey protecting him from its true attack. He digs through the contents of the bag, most of it ending up spilled out over their blanket covered laps before the crisps in question are chanced upon. It’s a small gift from heaven that they’ve got one of those handheld vacuums, as otherwise the rest of the evening was probably going to be spent in a kind of crumb speckled limbo. Not to mention Josh would be finding tiny pieces of chocolate, chips, and god knows what else clinging to himself for the next few weeks without it. 

Tearing into the smaller packet, Chris turns away only to turn back with some pretty impressive duck lips made out of two of the large, ridged chips. He tosses Josh a hideously coquettish wink, fluttering his lashes before somehow devouring both of them at the same time in a hail of crunching. 

Another is quickly offered between powdered speckled fingers, thrust out into the meagre space between them, as Chris’ gaze roams over the remaining haul in search of his next target. 

“Dude, these chips….I might kind of like them now. What’s wrong with me?” 

Josh closed the gap and plucked the chip from Chris's fingers with his teeth before falling back onto the bed with a snicker.

"Nothing wrong with you, nothing wrong with cheeseburger chips." He mumbled between munches.

The flavour was entirely artificial, obviously, but Josh still stood by the claim that if you looked at the burger on the packet while you ate them, they _almost_ tasted like their namesake. They were a guilty pleasure that reminded Josh of winter break, as they surprisingly didn't sell well enough to make it further south. He'd introduced them to Chris during one winter vacation up at the lodge, but they'd failed to impress despite Josh's insistence that they were a northern delicacy.

He leaned over and grabbed the packet, then placed it on his stomach and slipped one hand impatiently into the open end, resting his head on his other. "Told you they were good."

Josh happily munched his way through several more chips while he watched Chris peruse the many treats littering the bed. He smiled and pulled the blanket up a little more, eager to warm up the blonde who was definitely bringing a chill to the bed.

A hazy memory resurfaced and he laughed softly. "Man, that lady was pissed."

The lady in question was the sole witness to their daring feat (or attempted feat, at least) the night before. After drinks off campus in the nearest town with some other freshmen (no, we don't have ID. Yes, we are twenty one...), the pair had stumbled home via a quiet residential street. But they had been too wrapped up in their own good humours to keep the noise down. He remembered someone daring the other to climb a lamppost. It didn't matter which, as they both ended up attempting it and were both met with the same disappointing results. Josh had nearly reached the top when the lady came out to yell at them. He had a vague memory of running away in mock fear, laughing like kids, their footsteps crunching on the snow.

"You can't climb for shit, can you?" He said through a teasing smile as his hand rustled inside the chip packet. 

“Always gotta back up a compliment with a slur. I’m gonna move out if you keep ragging on me, bro.” For all his fabricated complaints, Chris still began making himself comfortable up against the cloying warmth of Josh’s side beneath the blanket. That was, after pilfering a couple more of those oddly alluring (MSG, man. It’s all in the flavourings.), chips, along with the coveted Mr.Big. 

It wasn’t unusual to be able to look back upon an evening of idiocy, and randomness spent in the other’s company with fondness and amusement. At least not lately. Josh not only looked like a human being, and not something which merely resembled one, but he was smiling more freely than ever before - taking social chances, making connections again, and actually living some kind of life. That Chris was able to be such a part of the whole process, well, it felt like a blessing of sorts. 

“We’re just gonna have to face facts. Neither of us is gonna win Mr. Universe any time soon. Besides, we’ve got the only kinda mister who matters right here.” With a glint in his eyes, Chris waggled the chocolate bar in front of Josh’s face for a moment before tearing a strip off of the top, and helping himself to an overly generous bite. 

Who knew someone could chew with quite such an air of smugness. Especially, whilst flopped out beside a neglected laptop, and his now quite outraged best friend. 

Josh’s jaw stilled mid-crunch. There were still plenty of chips to devour, but like a boy coveting another child’s latest plaything, he no longer cared about them quite so much anymore. Pushing the packet of chips onto the bed behind him, he rolled onto his side beneath the blanket to face the blonde, propping himself up on one elbow. He looked at Chris expectantly, but it only served to broaden his roommate’s complacent smile. “Dude.”

He hastily sucked the chip dust from his fingers and tilted his head, thoroughly unimpressed. Raised eyebrows were met with another self-satisfied bite. “Oh, come _on_.”

He’d called him on it before. Chris could easily have bought two, no hassle, but this was part of the game he played. Judging by the way the blonde was savouring the latest mouthful, gloating made it taste better.

“Don’t make me…” The softly-spoken warning was issued through a slight smile, implied consequences dancing in Josh’s eyes.

As usual, the subtle nature of the warning was thoroughly ignored, even if Chris’ wide, slightly chocolatey grin implied that it had far from passed him by. Instead, he sat back, indulging in another drawn out sampling from the rapidly dwindling bar. A low groan of pleasure flooded the air between them, sounding positively obscene given its humble roots. 

Whilst they weren’t the kind of pair for whom bickering came naturally (that was left to Mike and his incessant stream of girlfriends most of the time), some lines were crossed a little too often when it came to the sacred arena of snack time. However, if he wanted to win even a small victory, then Josh had precisely two more bites to do it in. It’d become something of a standoff now, attrition which only intensified the amusement now colouring every inch of Chris’ expressive face. He held the remainder of the bar poised in the small void between them, as if debating whether to take pity upon his disgruntled companion, or to finish their battle upon a high note. 

Josh watched Chris relish the mouthful for a long moment, thoroughly distracted, then forced himself to focus and weigh up his options. This could go one of two ways: he could plead or he could take.

The bar lingered in the air between them, tantalisingly close, yet Josh had been fooled by the apparent ease of obtaining it before. His lips curled up into a crooked smile. He wouldn't be fooled again.

The packets on the bed rustled loudly, several items falling to the floor as Josh quickly shifted his weight, grabbing Chris's outstretched arm by the wrist with one hand and pinning the other to the bedding beneath them, hopefully preventing future retaliation.

Looking down at the blonde trapped in his firm grip, Josh afforded himself a smirk. "What now, huh? What now?"

Having defiantly kept ahold of the prize they were currently warring over, a thoughtful noise rumbled in the blonde’s throat. He’d never really been any decent at even feigning a pensive kind of expression, unless circumstances genuinely demanded something appropriately serious of the otherwise comical teen. It was kind of difficult not to just get lost in the playfulness which had already swept Josh’s fragile mood away - not that twitchy, hyperactive kind of abandon he’d be consumed with at times, but something far gentler, and far less detrimental to his health as a whole. Those increasingly less rare glimpses of how Josh _could_ be, upon his very best days, they exhumed Chris’ own mood, and left in their wake small, precious memories which he held fast to his chest. 

Having said that, nothing got in the way of a good play fight, even between two people who were kind of past those loose limbed, clumsy tumbles of their earlier youth. Squabbles over imagined slights, concocted purely to leave them both panting, and breathless from their own laughter by the end. Using his superior size, and the element of surprise which came with the beginnings of an entirely fake declaration of surrender, Chris soon found himself leaning over Josh, taking in the scope of his lips, parted in silent betrayal, and wide pupils blown out by the sudden reversal of their positions. The half devoured chocolate bar had been a small sacrifice, now speckling flakes of biscuit and crumb all over the pillow next to the brunette’s head. 

“You were saying?” His grin was refreshed for a moment or two, but found itself slowly overtaken by an altogether less superficial kind of…..something. Complications arose in his gaze, even behind the slightly skewed frames of what didn’t look like, but totally were, designer glasses. Where his fingers were curled light, and loose around the other’s wrists, the pad of a thumb worn down from texting rubbed tiny, less than conscious circles over the heightened beat of blood through Josh’s system. His weight was there, pressing down upon the covers, but leant in such a way that he wasn’t liable to wind his bed mate, yet fully clothed and with a snarled layer of wool between them facets of his long time ritual felt oddly different. 

“....J...say uncle before I do something stupid…” 

After the initial shock of their reversed roles subsided, Josh began to notice the subtle changes, his mind slowly connecting the dots - the abstruse changes to Chris’s expression, the hint of something unexpected and not quite identifiable in his tone and the way he was looking at him right now - until Josh no longer looked surprised, but curious, with an unasked question on his slightly parted lips. He didn’t tense, exactly, not noticeably anyway, but he felt it: a tightening in his chest and stomach that signalled the end of this particular game. His instinct was to break loose and wind up the victor of their little battle, gloating and showboating as was generally the case. But somehow that didn’t seem very important anymore. It didn’t seem like he’d be winning at all.

His heartbeat was up. He was suddenly very aware of that.

The chocolate had gone, who knew where. But that didn’t matter. Chris’s hands were still cold, only serving to highlight the patterns being traced across his skin. But that didn’t matter either.

“Your hands are cold...” he said, the words uttered before he’d even realised. He cringed internally, one eye screwing shut for a moment, “I mean…”

It had always been a problem. An ongoing joke by this point. He over or underthought everything. He didn’t feel vulnerable, pinned in such a way that guaranteed escape, should he choose it. Far from it. Right now, pressed into the warmth of the duvet with Chris’s reassuring weight over him, he couldn’t really think much at all.

His eyes danced, flicking back and forth between those watching him from above. Not scrutinising, not judging. Just looking at him. _Seeing_ him.

He was very aware of his breathing, now.

With almost no resistance, he gently broke free of the grip on his right wrist. He hesitated a moment then slowly, tentatively raised his hand. Watching Chris’s face all the while, he pushed his glasses up into his hair.

“Huh...” it was a vague, thoughtful sound, as if he’d just discovered the answer to something.

Usually, given that their lives right now weren’t held in the kind of balance they might be in the future, Chris was the one who allowed his heart to dictate his decisions. Whatever meant he might be able to clasp one more recollection of happiness - leave it to blossom beneath his skin and see the both of them through the inevitability of darker days. Yet, whereas somewhere different, with someone who was composed of less complications lying prone beneath him he might’ve pushed past any personal hesitation fuelled by lack of experience, and clumsy nerves. This was Josh. Josh Washington. _J_. The kid from the back of class who he’d gotten to know entirely by chance. Nine rows separating them had been a world away, and somehow here they were now, perched upon the edge of an indefinable fate. 

The pace was all but handed over to Josh, dictated by each and every tiny facet of change which reflected upon his face. At least until he felt the pads of familiar fingers, doing unfamiliar things; cautious in ways they had no need to be if he admitted some of the things which had been lurking between all the flowers under his skin. 

It wasn’t weakness which had him leaning down further, near enough to feel all the things even their recent close proximity had denied him, inclining towards whatever Josh wanted to give him without being entirely aware of whether this was merely an extension of the flirtations they’d been shuffling around since an evening filled with flashbulbs and cheap booze. Where things like friendship kicked themselves into another gear altogether, where he looked back down at Josh in the same complex, barely fathomable way he was being regarded himself. 

This wasn’t a simple thing, and maybe that was okay. 

“Dude, I kinda wanna kiss you right now…” 

Josh’s eyes widened just a touch, a breath escaping him. His eyebrows softly knitted together as he regarded the blonde. 

This didn’t _feel_ like a joke. There was no laughter in Chris’s words, no amusement in his eyes.

His features softened as he understood what he’d heard.

For a moment he was reminded of the passing thoughts that he would never mention, the culmination of nights of hot blood and cold sweat. But they seemed cheap, like pale imitations of something far grander when compared to lying there fully clothed and only a breath apart. The grip on his wrist had loosened entirely. Unconsciously, Josh’s hand curled around the fingers resting on his palm. “Yeah…?”

There were consequences. There were always consequences. What if this? What if that? Too many to count.

_Don’t overthink it._

For once, he listened, and the words came easily, “Yeah… okay...” Slowly - very slowly - he lifted his head from the pillow, his gaze unwavering. His heart was hammering now; so much so that he was certain Chris must be able to hear it. His mouth felt dry. “...okay…” he murmured, more for his own benefit than anything else.

The first uncertain brush of lips was a fleeting testing of the waters, and yet as Josh leaned back against the pillow, giving himself just enough space to read Chris’s reaction, he couldn’t help the way his breath shook ever so slightly with each exhale.

In the wake of the sensation of dry lips ghosting over his own, Chris’ eyes were closed. His tongue darted out to chase the taste of Josh’s mouth upon them - sweet and salted from the snacks they’d already consumed - everything he’d told himself he hadn’t been imagining for years on the periphery of daydreams. 

A soft curse, far from motivated by disappointment or the culmination of a joke gone two steps too far rose to those same lips, but he bit down upon it. Instead, choosing to open his eyes, to the perfect clarity of Josh gazing back up at him as if he might be overwhelmed by the fact that he’d been the one to take that last step across a boundary which had been vague at best for years. 

“Hey, hey….J…” As slowly as their free hands had become linked, fingers now threaded upon the pillow beside Josh’s head, Chris let his other hand stray to press gently at the warm line of his best friend’s jaw, tepid skin seeking to soothe, as much as it wanted to anchor the elder man’s thoughts to this moment alone. 

He was racing ahead to outcomes unknown, and it was all playing out in those blown out pupils, in the subtle tremors which skirted the space between them. Places that no one needed to go, least of all when they’d just kissed someone who’d been unaware of how much they’d been keening for one such simple act for too long. 

For a moment it seemed like there were words he could say to placate whatever uncertainties resided within the two of them. The ones which clawed at Josh’s insides in so many different forms, and which he himself buried under a pile of terrible jokes, and social media. 

Instead, and slowly enough to give Josh time to reject it, he broached the sliver of distance between them. The lingering of chocolate and badly disguised need sweet upon his lips as they found Josh’s. 

Josh’s eyes closed as Chris’s lips pressed against his own: a solid, definite fact this time.

In the times he’d thought about Chris in this way, he realised that he’d never imagined what it would be like to actually kiss him, always falling short of that, or bypassing it completely. Perhaps it seemed like something too farfetched: an intimate, unattainable act that even his overactive imagination couldn’t do justice to, and so hadn’t tried to conjure up.

Was Chris as nervous as he was? This wasn’t a clumsy fumble at the tail end of a house party. It wasn’t some faceless, nameless whoever pressed against him right now, causing his breath to catch.

He half-expected a nagging thought to surface, to distract and ruin. But as he let Chris gently guide his jaw, head tilting as his lips parted to welcome the unfamiliar sensation of Chris’s tongue against his own - warm, salty sweet and surprisingly delicate - all extraneous thoughts fell away.

Laced fingers tightened just a touch as Josh shifted slightly, pressing back further against the duvet, bringing the blonde with him. Finally convinced that yes, this was indeed happening, his free hand emerged from the sleeve of his hoody, his grip on the cuff weakening as a quick substitute was found in a loose yet possessive handful of Chris’s t-shirt. A short, contented moan rumbled along the length of his throat, but he didn’t hear it, too wrapped up in the moment.

That soft exclamation trembled between their parted lips, colouring a kiss which was neither cautious nor incensed. The feeling of fingers clutching at the thin cotton covering his chest, anchoring his presence in a silent declaration of consent stilled the nerves which had been bubbling in the pit of Chris’ stomach. If nothing else, he placed thoughts of doing right by Josh before anything even approaching the satiation of his own hormonal curiosity. 

His weight remained largely a burden for the bedding, an afterthought when Josh was allowing such intimacy to spark between them. It would remain unspoken, but having lived in each other’s pockets for years, both knew that at least for Josh letting someone this close was akin to a small miracle. A space between all those times he’d isolated himself away from the world, created in their simple, cluttered, mess of a college dorm room. Somewhere Chris felt strangely privileged to be permitted entry to. In the same way he felt peculiar relief, and contentment humming through his veins just from the way his touch elicited restless, maybe even longing shifts in Josh’s own body. 

In the wake of what had turned into a rambling, gentle trade of kisses his breath tickled soft and uneven against the skin of the other man’s cheek. Somewhere along the line Josh’s other arm had tucked itself around his back, loosened from its hold around his palm. Freed up, his own fingers were carding absently through a dark brown mop of hair too often hidden by woollen hats and dusted with persistent snow. 

“......no offence, but this kinda beats Hammer horror, and cheeseburger chips…”

Josh allowed himself a soft, slightly breathy laugh, his nerves all but evaporated. Chris was speaking a language they both understood; one with a slightly humorous, reassuring edge to it. Though his blood was up, he didn't feel quite so unsure of himself.

"Yeah..." He confessed, "None taken."

His eyes remained closed while he enjoyed the sensation of Chris's breath against his skin, the gentle brush of fingers through his hair. Relinquishing his grip on the blonde’s t-shirt, Josh’s hand joined his other on the younger man’s back, holding him in a loose embrace of sorts.

_What does this mean?_

They'd been this close before, falling asleep in a mess of limbs and bedding, and Chris was never miserly when it came to physical displays of affection. But everything felt a little different now, like his senses were heightened. Josh was noticing things, subtleties to Chris’s touch that might have gone undetected or been dismissed as nothing more than friendly before. He was suddenly very… he searched for the right word.

_Aware?_

Something like that.

Eyes opening, Josh turned his face slightly, just enough to bring Chris’s green eyes back into view. In that moment, he was torn by conflicting impulses. He felt the urge to indulge in those private thoughts he kept under lock and key, to slip his hands beneath cotton and trace the contours of a body so familiar yet utterly unknown. And then there was the desire to simply stay here like this, in this warm, comfortable, surprisingly natural arrangement they found themselves in.

He knew that his best friend had gone out on a limb as much as he had, daring to give word to something that Josh didn’t even know Chris felt. Didn't even know _he_ felt. Perhaps the blonde hadn’t known it either. Beyond this, he had no idea what Chris was thinking. He didn’t know exactly where the line was anymore, and didn’t want to cross it unknowingly and ruin this unexpected turn of events.

Green eyes regarded his own.

 _Yeah, but what does this_ mean?

Looking up at Chris, he supposed it didn't really matter what it meant. Just knowing that it meant _something_ was enough. 

He found a happy medium between his two compulsions in the form of another kiss. It was a short yet firm press of lips: a confident amendment to his first weak, uncertain attempt only moments ago, that sealed whatever positive emotion he was feeling but couldn’t quite fathom.

Head returning to the pillow, Josh wore the ghost of a smile.

For a moment Chris merely looked down at him, features saturated in open happiness - the kind he wore upon his sleeve whilst rambling on about a new feature on his iPhone, or discussing their latest foray into the world of b-movie gore. Only this time it was compounded, fond beyond measure in the same kind of way he’d demonstrated only in small glimpses between their usually familiar and amiable friendship. 

Then he promptly let out the breath he’d been hoarding, letting it tremble out along with a soft chuckling against Josh’s shoulder where he collapsed down against him - still holding his friend close. 

“Aww, man you had me shitting kittens there. I thought I’d fucked up like you wouldn’t believe.” Taking the plunge, giving form to the ill-defined stirrings that’d made their home in his heart had gotten his senses on high alert, and it was only now with the gift of Josh’s reciprocation in hand that he allowed himself to at least try and stop jittering around internally like he was walking along some kind of precipice. 

A hand swatted lightly against the back of his mussed up hair, messing it up further still, but for once it was totally okay. The warm weight of arms strung loose around his waist came as an acute comfort. More than enough to urge him to speak up again after a few minutes spent lost to the simple act of lying cuddled up together amidst squashed packets of chips, and discarded candy bars. 

“.....I kinda...sorta wanted to do that for a while you know.” Admitting it was one thing, even knowing that Sam had seemingly twigged even before he did. That was if her sympathetic smiles, and gentle suggestions of things that they could do to get Josh out of their dorm room if only for a measure of fresh air were anything to go by. However, like Josh he wasn’t really sure if the sordid details of quite how long he’d been dithering over his own feelings was too heavy a burden to place upon the other. 

For now he just slipped to the side, one arm draped over Josh’s waist, and head tucked half beneath his chin. What felt like one of the slowly melting candy bars still encased in its plastic tomb was digging into his lower back, but it didn’t matter one bit. 

With Chris's confession came a flurry of something not quite definable in Josh’s stomach, replacing the heated, nervous tightening of his chest from the minutes before. It was a true revelation that his friend had even considered him in that way before now, that this hadn't been an impulse that had luckily coincided with what Josh was quickly realising were his own repressed feelings. A soft involuntarily laugh escaped him, signalling his disbelief. "Really?"

Josh fell silent, fingers playing with the arm of Chris's glasses, hidden amid blonde hair. He felt like he should say something, especially after sort of putting Chris on the spot. "I didn't... I didn't know."

Shifting slightly beneath the weight of his friend's arm, turning slightly into the blonde strands tickling against his jaw, he tried again. "I mean... I..."

_Say it._

"...I've thought... about you."

It seemed like a lot to say, and a very vague of saying it at that. But it was easier like this, keeping the admission from overwhelming him whilst trying to repay Chris's honesty with a small measure of his own.

“........course you have, I’m the bomb.” The manner in which Chris’ shoulders quivered betrayed another round of silent laughter. It quietened down rather more quickly than it might usually have done though. Whatever Josh was admitting to deserved a little more respect than cheap jokes, even if he knew those were what was most liable to stop him from working himself into a lather over what they’d just done. His fingers roused from where they’d lain still, tips brushing the duvet beneath their nestled bodies, setting a languid pace as they soothed up and down Josh’s side in small circles. 

Maybe they’d make out some more, crinkling plastic and blowing out bags of chips beneath them, or maybe the afternoon would continue on in a peaceful haze of simply being together. Either possibility brought a faint smile to Chris’ lips as he measured his words just a little more than he might’ve had they merely been joking around with each other as usual. 

_Don’t fuck this up. He’s worth more than your dumbass ramblings._

“Hey…..remember that picnic Sam organized? The one where Mike tried to go all Bear Grylls on us, and got covered in mosquito bites. Dude, I still think I have a video of him trying to act like he wasn’t itchin’ to high heaven when Ash offered him some Polysporin. Yeah. anyway, point most definitely wandered away from…” 

His shoulders hitched with amusement, and he used the fingers of his free hand to tug the blanket back up over where it’d fallen away from Josh’s hip.

“....So, we had a few brews, Jess totally burned the burgers, and --- you know all this shit already, don’t you?” Shifting back, he aimed a somewhat self-deprecating grin in the direction of his bestie’s bemused face. 

“Everything got kinda rowdy, and there’s you and me sitting shoulder to shoulder on some rock by the river. Stars out, nice little breeze, the whole nine yards, and I looked over and dude…..I could’a totally kissed you back then too.”

It was strange listening to Chris recount one of Josh's own memories - one that he held dear given the ups and downs that had transpired between now and then. It was like he was hearing about it for the first time with this newly acquired perspective, the additional detail colouring it in a different light. It conjured up a mixture of emotions: the slight warmth of something akin to curious excitement blossoming inside him, and a faint yet distinct hint of sadness that Chris had been holding that knowledge around in his chest for so long, and he had been utterly clueless.

He digested this new information, gaze drifting momentarily. "Huh..." His fingers absently brushed through blonde hair as he pondered. Their eyes met. "Dude... I think I would've."

It wasn't simple flattery. Having said it, Josh was confident it was true.

He could pinpoint the moment he'd begun to think of Chris as more than a friend, or at least in a way that friends didn't or maybe shouldn't think about each other. But it was far from romantic; the result of his own raised pulse and fevered imagination that he had passed off as nothing more than a primal, purely sexual thing.

But that wasn't quite true, was it? That was why it played on his thoughts when his mind was empty of distractions, wasn't it?

Josh chewed his lip. He wasn't quite sure he was ready to or indeed ever would divulge that particular information.

Instead, he sighed quiet contentment and relief as he spent a long moment just looking at Chris, tracing the lines of his face with a soft, considered gaze. It occurred to him that out of everyone he could call a friend, statistically he must've spent the most time looking at Chris. It was a strange, random thought. 

He wanted to kiss him again.

"We're okay, right?" He asked after a time.  
It’d been a long time coming, and perhaps it didn’t matter at all, but Chris shifted if only just enough to pluck at the packets scattered around them and make a pile upon the floor beside their nest out of them. At least now whatever they did within these warm folds and furls of cotton and wool wouldn’t end in crumbs and regret.

When he sat back, Josh was still looking quite lost in a maze of his own thoughts. Neither manic, nor catatonic - just that wonderful medium which seemed to bring his ever ticking mind some form of relief. The soft welling of affection which seeing his features arranged in such a way provoked was more than enough to motivate gentle hands, attached to gentler arms as they dared to draw him into a loose embrace. His reply came in a murmur, flickering lightly against Josh’s temple in the wake of a tiny smooch which was dropped there without self-consciousness. 

“Yeah….it’s how it’s always been bro. If you’re okay, then I’m okay.” 

Josh let himself be held, unconsciously leaning into Chris’s reassuring words. “Good." He said after a while with soft finality. 

This was beginning to feel more natural. No, that wasn’t quite the right way of putting it. Nothing about what was transpiring felt unnatural, exactly. Quite the opposite. It was all just sort of... new, he guessed? New and yet exactly the same. Whatever it was, he felt good about it, content in the knowledge that they were both more or less on the same page. His mind was finally at ease.

A gentle palm smoothed the creased material of Chris’s t-shirt sleeve, the gesture followed by an easy progression to the exposed skin of his arm. Despite the time that had elapsed, his friend was still only lukewarm at best. “Dude, you’re still way too cold to be touching me right now.” he muttered through a soft chuckle.

It was as good an excuse as any for Josh to kick down the bedding - now (mostly) free from snacks - and pull the duvet up over them, inviting the other man into what promised to be one of their finer iterations of a lazy afternoon relaxing in each other’s company. Settling back into the warmth and already feeling the benefit of the extra layer, he glanced over at the blonde and felt confident enough to venture a joke. "We've had worse hangovers, huh?"

**Author's Note:**

> Art for this fic [here](http://lovelybonezproductions.tumblr.com/post/138591256845/next-commission-down-this-one-is-for-a-fellow)
> 
> Tumblr: [@messofcurls-creative](https://messofcurls-creative.tumblr.com/)


End file.
